Everett Family Law Blog

When you and your spouse decided to get a divorce, you thought that you'd both be kind enough to be able to resolve your differences without help. Unfortunately, there have been a few sticking points that have made it impossible to move forward.

In cases like this, where both parties are reasonable but disagree, mediation can be of huge help. Mediation allows divorcing couples to make decisions without turning to a judge, so that the decisions they come up with are more likely to be agreeable to both parties.

Maybe you see it coming or maybe you don't. Either way, if your spouse asks for a divorce, it's critical to understand what you should and shouldn't do.

When you take the right steps at the right time, you're in better position to avoid mistakes that can complicate matters during the divorce process. Here are five steps you should take:

• Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can get your life together: It's never easy to go through divorce, especially if you didn't see it coming, but it doesn't signify the end of your life. It may take time, but you'll soon realize that you're inching toward a better life in the future.
• Talk to loved ones: Don't keep your feelings bottled up inside. Talk to your friends and family about your feelings, concerns and plans for the future. And if necessary, it may make sense to consult with a therapist.
• Don't fight it: It's a bad ending to your marriage, but begging your spouse to reconsider isn't worth it. It's okay to do your part in working things out, if possible, but begging and pleading won't get you anywhere.
• Don't obsess over their every move: For example, it's tempting to stalk your spouse on social media, habitually check your joint email account and drive by their place of employment every now and again. But doing this will only make matters worse, especially if you find something you don't want to see.
• Get your finances in order: Your personal life will change in many ways now that divorce is on the table. The same holds true with your finances, so get organized as soon as possible. Open individual bank accounts, create a budget and make general financial decisions that will improve your situation.

Choosing to stay home to care for your children can be a very rewarding decision. Instead of handing your children over to a childcare professional for at least a third of the day every day, you get to be there to witness all of their special moments as they grow and develop. You also have the opportunity to create a strong parental bond that can benefit your children for the rest of their lives.

From a household perspective, having one parent stay home can often be beneficial. While you lose out on the income that spouse would have earned, the potential cost of outsourcing services like childcare, housework and cooking might be far more than what you would make at work.

Some parents in Washington file for divorce, hoping to be the sole custodians of their kids. Custody and parenting issues can be complex and often spark contention between former spouses who do not agree on what's best for the children involved. In fact, there are many instances where one parent believes that the other parent's presence is a detriment to the children's well-being.

It is not enough to think it or even to tell the court about it. If a parent is going to request sole custody on grounds that the other parent is unfit, he or she must be able to substantiate his or her claim. This means the court wants to see evidence. A parent being late a couple times for parenting time does not necessarily mean he or she is unfit or negligent in parental duties.