Everett Family Law Blog

Tips to help you tell your children about divorce

Divorce is never easy. It can often be complicated, messy and contentious. And, if you have children at home, you will experience a whole different level of complexity than couples who do not have kids or whose children have already left the nest.

The first challenge you may face is how to tell your kids about the divorce. This might be more challenging than it was to make the decision to end your marriage. Fortunately, there are some things you can do to prepare for the conversation.

Actor Tom Arnold navigating 4th divorce

Many people in Washington and across the country believe that people who get divorced are prone to do it again should they remarry. Those who do think so might agree that TV personality Tom Arnold's personal life is evidence of it. Arnold filed for divorce on a recent Wednesday -- from his fourth wife.

Arnold says his wife moved out of the house several years ago. Since then, he has been raising their two sons by himself. Arnold says he is fine with that and has asked the court to grant him custody. He also said that he has no hard feelings toward his ex and hopes she pursues her dreams. Arnold has stated that he is thankful for the time he shared with his ex and is more than ready to move forward as a single parent.

Challenges exist for military members going through divorce

Life in the military is challenging even in the best of conditions. On top of the regular stresses of marriage, service members have to handle the added pressures that this lifestyle brings to the union. Some will have to deal with divorce, which comes with unique challenges.

When children are involved in the split, special plans are necessary. These help to ensure that the kids are taken care of while still maintaining a relationship with both parents. Several things must come together to make this happen.

How to have the divorce conversation

A marriage can become an unhealthy and unhappy one abruptly, or it can gradually become increasingly hostile over time. You may be deeply dissatisfied in your marriage but feel worried about bringing up the topic of divorce to your spouse. While this hesitancy is understandable, you must have an open an honest conversation with your spouse about the underlying issues.

Having a conversation with your spouse about what both of you are getting from the marriage could be enough to spur you on to improve your relationship. It could also be the confirmation you need that the only way to move forward is to move apart. The following are some things you should consider before having a conversation with your spouse about divorce.

Child custody and parenting: Who pays for school supplies?

Many Washington parents got divorced over the summer. Now that most schools throughout the country are opening once again, custody and parenting issues might arise for those who are still adjusting to post-divorce lifestyles. There are several things to keep in mind to help keep back-to-school stress to a minimum.

In all aspects of parenting and family life as it relates to divorce, financial issues are always a concern. Incorporating back-to-school issues into a co-parenting plan can help avoid problems. For instance, most schools issue supply lists for backpacks, books, writing tools and other supplies, so divorced parents will need to decide who will pay for these items. Perhaps, a best case scenario might be for co-parents to share the cost if possible.

Mediation's benefits: 3 reasons to choose mediation

Mediation may seem counterintuitive when you're going through a divorce, but it's extremely helpful for many people. Mediation is a nonbinding type of alternative dispute resolution. It helps guide people who are going through a divorce toward a peaceful separation.

Mediators are educated in resolving conflicts and can provide great third-party insight into the situation. They can suggest potential remedies for situations but never push their own agendas on those involved in the mediation sessions. There are dozens of reasons why you should consider mediation, but the following three are among the top.

Divorce: Coping can be tough when married to a narcissist

There are undoubtedly readers in Washington and beyond who see the title of this post and immediately begin to relate to its content. Those who are married to narcissists understand what it is like to struggle through life feeling as though they never measure up. That is usually because their spouses degrade and emotionally abuse them, which strips their confidence away a little at a time. Divorce is often the ultimate outcome of a narcissistic marriage.

Coping with divorce after living with a narcissist can be challenging. There are several things a person can do to activate a healing process and to lay the groundwork for a new, happier lifestyle. One thing is to acknowledge one's emotions and to allow them to unfold naturally, perhaps keeping a journal to track one's feelings on a day-to-day basis.

Spouses on friendly terms may use litigation alternatives

Does every Washington divorce have to be litigated? The answer is a definite, "No." If spouses are able to discuss important issues without acrimonious confrontation, then there may be litigation alternatives available to them so they never have to go to trial. Such alternatives have many benefits, including the ability to convert to litigation at a later time, if necessary.

One of the most popular forms of alternative dispute resolution is collaborative law divorce. Each spouse is represented by a separate attorney and additional parties -- who must be impartial -- may also attend negotiation sessions, such as a financial adviser or child psychologist. The goal is to achieve a fair settlement in the most cooperative fashion possible. Collaboration is typically less time-consuming and less expensive than litigation.

3 signs you could be headed for divorce

When you originally walked down the aisle and said your vows, you were probably ready to spend the rest of your life with your beloved. However, years later, you may be wondering if you are headed down divorce highway. While divorce often carried a stigma in the past, it has become increasingly common among both younger couples and those eho have been married for 10, 30 or even 40 years.

So, how do you know if your marriage is over and you need to start looking for a divorce attorney? While the answers are often as unique as each couple's relationship, there are some signs that commonly point to divorce.

Matt Lauer lost his job; now his wife has filed for divorce

"Today" show fans in Washington and throughout the country were shocked when Matt Lauer was fired. His employment was terminated due to sexual allegations made against him some time ago. Lauer is making headlines again, this time because he and his wife have apparently reached a divorce settlement.

Even under trying personal circumstances, it is often possible to achieve fair settlements in an amicable fashion when both parties are willing to cooperate and compromise, as needed. Washington is a community property state, which means the parties typically divide all marital property 50/50 in divorce. In Lauer's case, which is pending in an equitable distribution state, he and his ex were able to negotiate an exchange of assets with which they are both satisfied.

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