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You and your spouse have always been good about working through problems — even though you’re splitting up. Now, however, you’ve found that you are at an impasse. No matter what you say or try to negotiate, they just won’t listen to you.

You don’t want to drag out your divorce issues any longer than necessary. It has been your goal for the entire process to go smoothly and to resolve quickly so that your children aren’t caught up between two fighting parents.

Since you are both familiar with negotiating with each other, one helpful step to take now may be to go to a mediation session. You may not be able to negotiate or discuss your concerns together alone, but with a third party present, you may find it’s easier to find a solution.

A mediator knows about all the applicable state laws and requirements that pertain to your situation. They will also be able to listen and give support to each person as you discuss your concerns and questions. The mediator controls the session so that there is not a breakdown in communication that limits the continuation of the discussion.

A mediator is not there to tell you what to do or how to decide on what is right for your situation, but they will support an open, clear discussion with each other. They will not allow disrespect to break down the situation; if someone needs to step away, that can usually be arranged. The setting is informal, which can lower tensions and help you both relax as you put your minds toward finding a solution that will work for you and your kids. Our website has more on mediation and how it could help you resolve issues during your divorce.