When you’re going through a divorce and have children, there is a good chance that they’ll overhear an argument or have their own opinions about what’s happening. That being said, there are some times when you may notice that they seem to know too much or are a little too involved.
It’s important to keep your children out of the divorce as much as possible. While they should be informed that you’ll be divorcing and how that may affect them, there are some things that your children shouldn’t have to deal with, like conflicts and arguments between you and your ex-spouse.
How can you tell if your children are too involved in your divorce?
There are some red flags that show that your children are too involved in your divorce and that the divorce may have a negative impact on them as a result.
- Your spouse uses them like a messenger
One of the ways to tell that your child is being involved too heavily is if your ex-spouse sends messages to you through them. Children are not messengers and should not be involved in discussions or conflicts between homes. If you or your spouse need to talk, then do so in person, over a court-monitored program or over the phone, not through your child.
- Your children come home saying mean things about you
If your children come home saying rude things to you or making allegations that you did things to hurt the other parent, it’s time to talk to your ex-spouse about keeping those conversations more private.
- Your children always have something to say about the divorce
Another way to know that your children are too involved is when you notice that they always seem to have some kind of input. Your children should not be so knowledgeable about what happened between you and your spouse that they can give their opinions, regardless of their age.
- You use your children as support
Finally, if you start talking to your children and using them as support, they’re too involved. Your job is to protect them against conflict, not to pile on your concerns.
These four signs show that your children are just too informed about your divorce. Do your best to minimize their exposure to conflict and discussions, because they deserve peace of mind.