There are lots of habits and factors that might play a role in the possibility of a couple going through a divorce after they’ve gotten married. Sometimes, there are financial issues that cause problems. Other times, people simply grow apart.
One marriage trend that a mental health counselor and relationship coach says is problematic for Millennials is moving in together without a commitment to living life together or getting married. Interestingly, looking at data from the Office for National Statistics, cohabitating couples are becoming more common and increased at a rate of 25.8% between 2008 and 2018.
The relationship coach claims that living together in this way actually first reduces the likelihood of getting married. Then, those who do marry are at an increased risk of getting divorced after five years.
How can you reduce the likelihood of a divorce if you plan to move in together before marriage?
The one thing that helps couples is to have a difficult discussion about hard questions like where you see yourself in the next five years, if you do or do not want children, where you want to live long-term and what your priorities are. If you can settle these difficult issues in advance, you’ll go into living together more positively and with a plan for the future. That structured plan increases the likelihood of staying together.
So, should you wait to be married before living together?
This data doesn’t reflect that people shouldn’t live together before they get married, but it does say that anyone who chooses to live together should have an honest discussion about their goals in doing so. There is a difference between agreeing to test the waters while you date versus moving in together with a goal of building a life and future. Going into a shared living arrangement without goals or tough discussions may end up leading to more conflict down the road.
These are a few things to think about if you’re planning on moving in with a partner. Have the hard discussions, so you know where you stand and if there is a possibility for a future together.