Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be endlessly complicated, and the school year always brings some predictable issues into play.
Once the school year starts, it can help to anticipate some common problems and decide, in advance, how you intend to handle things. Here are three to consider:
1. Keeping both parties informed about significant events
One of the biggest challenges during the school year is making sure that both parents are kept informed and involved in any important events – whether those are science fair projects, theater productions, choir performances, band recitals, sports events or other extracurriculars.
A shared calendar through Google or one of the many parenting apps available can make it easier (and prevent allegations that one parent is deliberately not informing the other to try to cut them out of special occasions).
2. Splitting the costs of all the extras associated with school
Even if your children go to public schools, education is hardly free – especially if your child is involved in any of the extracurricular activities mentioned above. The cost of these “extras” that enhance your child’s development and education can add up quickly, and they’re not covered by standard child support agreements.
Work with your co-parent to establish an agreement on how costs for everything from band instrument rentals and school trips to outfits and other expenses associated with the Homecoming Dance are going to be split, whether that’s 50/50 or more reflective of your disparate incomes. You also need to have an agreement about whether commitments need to be jointly discussed in advance before a child is given the “go-ahead” signal from either parent.
3. Establishing a homework routine in both households
You and your co-parent may have radically different parenting styles, but children thrive on routine – and not having one established for homework is setting them up for confusion and academic disaster.
Work with your co-parent to establish one set of rules for schoolwork, such as when work is to be done, where the child is to do the work (in their room, at the kitchen table or somewhere else) and other “ground rules” that may be relevant.
It’s not unusual for school years to require a lot of negotiation between parents. When a custody agreement doesn’t seem to be working, it may be time to seek legal guidance.
