However much you tell your children that Christmas and birthdays are not just about the gifts they receive, in most cases, the gifts will matter to them. Maybe your children can’t sleep for excitement as they wonder what they will unwrap on Christmas morning. Or perhaps they spend the weeks before their birthdays dropping unsubtle hints about the expensive pair of sneakers they would love to have.
If you have recently separated or divorced, it can be easy to use gifts to give your child back some of the happiness your break-up has cost them. Before you go out and buy something, it’s important to be clear about whether buying it is a good idea.
Different budgets
Maybe you can afford those sneakers your child wants, and you know full well your soon-to-be ex cannot. Consider how giving them to your child will make your co-parent feel. Will they feel upset that they cannot match your spending? Will they go into debt trying to buy something of equal value? Will they believe you’re trying to buy your child’s favor at their expense, or will they just be pleased that your child will get something nice they could not afford to buy them?
Differences in spending for your child can be problematic if you are not careful. Sometimes it is better to chip in and buy a joint gift, even if one of you puts in more money than the other. It can send a strong message to your child that you intend to work together for their benefit.
It can also avoid the chance the child feels bad about expressing their delight about a gift from one parent in front of the other. Buying separate presents but agreeing to only spend a certain amount is another option that can sometimes work.
This is just one of the many small issues you will need to consider when thinking about how you will continue to raise your children together when you divorce. With experienced legal guidance, you can better address all the important issues.
