Having children means accepting responsibility for their health and well-being. Parents have to provide shelter and other basic forms of support for their children. They also need to make arrangements for other people to care for their children when they are not readily available to do so.
Even with two working parents combining living expenses and income, childcare can be prohibitively expensive. Affording childcare can become even more difficult when parents begin living separately after they divorce or break up with one another. Divorced parents may rely on cut-rate childcare services. Other times, they may not be able to afford professionals at all. They may leave their children with their family members or new romantic partners for free babysitting. Those childcare providers might neglect or even overtly abuse the children.
How can parents limit childcare risks when they share custody?
By including specific custody terms
Parents can limit the likelihood of caregiver abuse in a shared custody scenario with certain rules. Technically, parents do not control what happens when the children are with the other adult in the family. Each parent has control over their own parenting decisions when they have parenting time.
However, the parenting plan can include specific standards for matters related to the children. For example, the parents might require that the children only receive support from licensed childcare providers. Such terms can limit when family members or romantic partners have access to the children and therefore an opportunity to abuse them.
Other times, parents may negotiate a pre-arranged list of approved childcare providers. They may agree that certain grandparents, aunts, uncles and family friends are acceptable childcare providers. Having a list reduces the likelihood of the children being left with an unfit care provider.
Parents might also ask for the right of first refusal. When a custody plan includes the right of first refusal, a parent who cannot physically be present with the children has to give the other parent the opportunity to be with the children during that time before they bring in outside care providers. Such arrangements can cause frustrating last-minute schedule changes but may ultimately be beneficial for the children.
Particularly in scenarios where family circumstances or income concerns make the possibility of childcare abuse an issue, parents may need to be proactive about protecting their children. Including the right terms in a custody order when initially negotiating arrangements can set parents up for co-parenting success. Going back to court to modify a custody order can help them remedy prior oversights and more effectively protect their children should issues arise over time.
