Divorce is often a high-conflict process. Even typically calm and rational people may find themselves feeling emotionally overwhelmed during divorce. Their grief about the marriage ending and their anger toward their spouses can lead to irrational behavior and unnecessary disputes.
Many couples end up dragging out the resolution of their divorces and increasing their overall expenses by fighting unnecessarily about various aspects of an upcoming divorce. For many couples, pursuing divorce mediation is preferable to the litigation of a pending divorce.
Even those who find themselves heatedly disagreeing about certain elements of a divorce may be able to compromise if they attend mediation. How can mediation sessions help spouses resolve their major disagreements?
By allowing space to converse privately
Frequently, conflict related to divorce stems from issues that arose during the marriage. The conduct of one spouse may have had negative consequences for the other spouse or the financial circumstances of the entire household. Adultery, drug abuse, gambling and other questionable choices may require careful consideration during divorce negotiations. Mediation provides spouses with the space where they can talk about these embarrassing but critical details privately in a confidential setting. They can then focus on setting terms that are fair and reasonable given the conduct of both spouses and the impact their actions have on the family.
By providing time for contemplation
Some couples are able to successfully mediate their divorce disagreements in a single session. They sit down together and quickly work through all of their major disputes. Other couples must attend multiple mediation sessions before they can settle their disagreements. The cooling-off time between mediation sessions can be very valuable for divorcing couples. Spouses have time to consider their perspective and the claims of the other spouse carefully before the next mediation session occurs. That time may give them an opportunity to change their expectations and accept the idea of compromise.
By providing neutral support
A mediator understands the law. They also have training to help people work through their disagreements. Sitting down with a mediator can give spouses space in which to explore their disagreements and find compromises that everybody agrees are appropriate. A mediator can ask valuable questions and can help keep the conversation flowing smoothly even when spouses react strongly to certain suggestions or statements.
Provided that both spouses pursue divorce mediation in good faith, it may be possible for them to work through their disagreements and agree to settlement terms. Signing an agreement after a successful mediation session can help people achieve an uncontested divorce filing. People who understand how mediation helps may be more open to trying the process.
